Responsible Together 2024: Love is normal. Violence is not.

As part of WWP EN’s commitment to explore new frontiers of ending domestic violence, our #ResponsibleTogether24 campaign during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence is focused on raising awareness about intimate partner violence (IPV) in LGBT+ relationships and increasing the communication between victims/perpetrators and support services. 

See materials from the campaign in our campaigning resources

Love is normal, violence is not.

Domestic abuse in LGBT+ relationships is shaped by discrimination and inequality, just like in heterosexual relationships. Societal prejudice against LGBT+ people, including homo-, bi-, and transphobia, allows abusers to use sexuality and gender as tools to control and isolate their partners. While awareness of LGBT+ victims is growing, LGBT+ abusers are often overlooked. This invisibility is tied to society's focus on traditional, cis-heteronormative views of domestic abuse and ongoing prejudice against LGBT+ communities. To address this, it's important to work with local LGBT+ groups through community engagement, education, and outreach. These efforts can help more LGBT+ individuals seek support, whether they are victims of abusers who want to change. WWP EN supports organisations that are trying to become more inclusive and responsive to the unique needs of the LGBT+ community in addressing domestic abuse.

Identifying the roadblocks in supporting LGBT+ communities

Research by Professor Catehrine Donovan’s condensed in the expert paper on ‘LGBT+ Perpetrators: Visibility, Recognition, and Interventions’ shows that: 

  • The common view of domestic abuse often focuses on cisgender, heterosexual men as abusers and cisgender, heterosexual women as victims. This makes it harder for LGBT+ individuals facing abuse to access support.
  • Rigid ideas about gender roles, like victim versus abuser or weak versus strong, make abuse in LGBT+ relationships seem less serious or even invisible compared to heterosexual relationships. This leaves many LGBT+ people, and even some cisgender heterosexual individuals, feeling like their experiences don’t fit the usual story. This leads to fewer reports and a lack of support services designed for LGBT+ abuse survivors.
  • Abuse between women is often dismissed because of stereotypes that women are non-violent, while abuse between men is viewed as “equal fighting” due to assumptions about male aggression. Non-binary and genderqueer individuals are also misunderstood in abuse situations, as people rely on appearance or assumptions rather than recognizing the complexities of their experiences.
  • Perpetrators of domestic abuse can also use intersectional and identity-based tactics to harm their victims. For example, they may exploit societal prejudices like racism, ableism, or transphobia to isolate or control their partner, making the abuse even more harmful and difficult to address.
  • To better support the LGBT+ community, we need a more inclusive understanding of domestic abuse that reflects diverse relationships and identities.

Go through our expert paper below:

About the COHSAR Power and Control Wheel

The COHSAR Power and Control Wheel is an adapted model of the Duluth Power and Control Wheel, designed to reflect dynamics of power and control in all intimate partner relationships, regardless of gender or sexuality. Unlike the Duluth model, physical and sexual violence are shown as spokes, while power and control form an inner circle around two core “relationship rules.”

The adjusted wheel now includes the concept of “Space for Reaction”. This idea of “space for action” addresses the limited autonomy domestic abuse victims have in their decisions and daily actions. Victims often respond to abuse by resisting or fighting back to reclaim autonomy, creating moments of “space for reaction.” However, these responses are often misunderstood as mutual abuse rather than self-defense.


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