It is wonderful that your friend/family member has someone in their life who wants them to be safe. However, remember:
If you are from a community that experiences discrimination from police or state authorities and don’t want to call them, you could also try contacting somebody who you know has the respect/power to resolve the situation without causing more harm and will not automatically take the perpetrators side.
Here are some warning signs that can point to domestic violence:
(source: NFF)
If you witness disrespectful, threatening and dominating behaviour, and/or your friend/family member is being increasingly isolated from her social circle you have a right to be worried. Additionally, there are certain contexts, which could make the situation particularly dangerous. Remember that it is ok to contact the police if you feel your friend/family member is in danger. Domestic violence is not a private matter, it is a systemic violation of human rights and your decision to call the police could save a life.
You can support someone experiencing domestic violence by doing some of the following things:
(sources: Women's Aid, Refuge)
While a good support system is invaluable to women in abusive relationships, you are not responsible for “solving” the abusive situation or “saving” the person experiencing abuse. The above graphic from the Neighbours, Friends and Family Campaign shows your limits, chances and choices as a bystander of domestic abuse
You might want to learn more about domestic violence in general, or the specific types of domestic abuse or you might be asking yourself “Why doesn’t she just leave?” (answer, answer, answer). A great way of understanding what is happening, as well as a resource you might want to share with your friend/family member is Lundy Bancroft’s book “Why Does He Do That?”.
If you are living in Europe, the easiest way to find local support services is to visit the WAVE service database, if you are unable to find a service in your country, don’t hesitate to get directly in touch with WAVE or with an organisation from a neighbouring country. If you are not living in Europe, try searching online for a domestic violence survivor service or national domestic violence hotline. It makes perfect sense to contact these services even if you are not the person experiencing abuse. They are the experts on what is happening and will be able to support you in helping your friend/family member.
Safety planning means exactly that – planning to stay safe and/or planning to leave an abusive relationship safely. During and shortly after separation, your friend/family member is in the most danger of experiencing extreme harassment, violence or even being killed by her partner. Refuge have some good advice on safety and NFF has detailed information on staying safe before, during and after leaving an abusive relationship.
One way of ensuring your friend or loved one understands her rights is for you to understand them and to tell her when you know that her partner’s behaviour is a violation of your country’s laws. On an EU level, you can inform yourself via the EIGE (European Institute for Gender Equality) website, on a national level it makes the most sense to either google what you are searching for or contacting local women's rights organisations - many victim support services also offer legal counselling (for contacts check out "victim support services" above).